There I sat threading beads at our Mala making circle, “one for sorrow, two for joy, three for girls, four for boys…” the lyrics circled round in my brain. I couldn’t let them go. Each bead held a special meaning and I couldn’t remember what they were, so my brain remembered a song. Each one of us stated our intention and word for the year. Change. My word is change.

There is a pulse beating strong against my chest, change. change. change. I know that it’s coming. I know that it’s imminent. I know that in one year everything will be different. It’s up to me to decide what that looks like, and where I go. I’m getting real intentional. I’m looking for signs. I’m toes grasped standing on the ledge of the universe screaming “WHAT NOW?” And the pace at which she is answering my warrior cry is blowing my mind.

It looks like this…

Breathe Elaine. Take the next right step. Not the shortcut. Not the easy way. Just the way. Be present. See the people around you. Love. Them. Learn from them. Ask questions. Recycle. Eat more veggies. Try harder to see the good. Dance with your babies. Kiss with your soul. Drink more tea. Try to find the words to say the things that need to be said. Stretch. Own your bullshit. Clean less, play more. Blow off the to do list and listen. Cry more. Turn up the music. Cook. Find more good. Give more grace. Seek more joy. Make love. Sob if you need to. Pay. Attention.

And so today…crows. Why? I don’t know. The song lyrics I mentioned above won’t leave my mind. I look up the song. “A Murder of One” by Counting Crows. “One for sorrow, two for joy, three for girls, four for boys, five for silver, six for gold, seven for a secret never to be told…” I research crows all day. I look up their meaning. I tell my husband a tattoo idea I have. I save photos. I play the song in yoga. I come home to find my sister (she’s my sister-in-law, but she’s more than that…she’s my soul sister) has posted a photo of crows she took in her backyard. She says “I love crows”…uhhhh what?? What is happening? I text her to tell her and she sends me this …

“The crow has always been associated with both positive and negative symbolism. This trickster of a bird shows up to let you know that things are ever changing. Continue overcoming any obstacles. Have you been asking for a deeper connection with your dreams and visions? Are you finding an imbalance in your life?
You could be undergoing a huge transformation. Are you stopping your personal abundance (whether it be health, personal, or wealth) due to fear and anxiety? The crow’s mysticism and magic can aid in your quest. The crow’s medicine is a reminder that you are on the verge of manifesting whatever you have been creating in your mind. Allow those positive thoughts to guide you.
You are feeling a strong creative surge and do not know how to bring it to the surface. The crow has an ability to bring prophetic gifts of insight. What’s stopping you from creatively opening up? Let the crow’s medicine help you reach your authentic power.
There is an imbalance in your life. Step back and take note. The crow is a good symbolism of balance in dark and light. Even their feathers change shades with the light. Just like the yin and yang, you need to find grounding in all aspects of life. Seeing a crow is a reminder that where there is dark, there is also the other side of light.
Your tenacity and persistence will pay off. Crows do not give up easily. They will pursue their target and get whatever they need, when they need it. You are gradually shifting into your confident self.
You will witness similar signs and synchronicity around you. The crow’s visit will guide you to continue opening up your vision. The crow is beckoning you to use your gifts of clairvoyance. Take flight and follow your dreams.”

Yeah. Mind. Blown. Heart ripped wide open, standing at the ledge of the universe whispering, “Ok. Let’s fly…”