There is a lightness and a freeing up of space that comes with loss. Sometimes the thing you think you’ll be lost without, is really just tying you down. Talk yourself through your worst fear about losing it… “Ok, and then what? Ok, and then what? Ok, and then what?” What you usually find at the end is that you’re not dead, you did survive, and unexpectedly you may discover that you’re better off for it. So many of the things we think we’re hanging on to, are really just hanging on to us. Keeping us busy. Keeping us full of excuses for why we can’t do other things. Keeping us in a box where we can’t really discover what we might actually be capable of, because we’re doing this thing we think we can’t live without, that we need to survive. It’s bull. I’ve found a great lightness and freedom in the loss I feared. Is a loss really a loss if it’s end result is good?

Letting go has been at the forefront of my thoughts lately. Loosening the tight grip of my fists to open up my hands to hold on to other things. Things I want to do for me. Things I want to create. Things I want to see. Things I want to learn. And then not just doing, but doing right. So much of my life has been done wrong. So much time wasted. So many opportunities lost. I want to get something right…

So there’s the realization that I’m still here, my loss granted my freedom. The practice of letting go of what I thought I knew. And then there’s the opening up, but in a way that is fresh and new for me. Not rushed. Not half assed. Not for someone else. A story written with my own words. A painting I did not copy. A song that was all my own voice. Finding that there is so much good good in the intentional grounded work of unbecoming in order to become. A daily dance of weird, raw motion and movement that doesn’t make much sense to anyone but me. And that’s ok. That’s the good.